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Pain. The remedy of extreme happiness. Happiness can be addictive, even more than ecstasy, usurping all sense of logicality; Overwhelming one’s mind till the utter destruction of the rationale. Pessimistic you might say? Maybe. Just try to compare happiness with a drug… any drug… He always used to ponder on that question till late past his bedtime, confessing his deepest sins to the moon. And the moonlight never questioned his thoughts. On the contrary, the heavens seem to be the most sincere ally he could ever find.

Pain, it might seem, only exists to reveal the importance of those small moments of pleasure. But now it had opened a whole new dimension as he laid there amongst the pebbles and stones, the cold blistering water washing away all that was left of him. It was not the end. Not yet… and the pain pounding inside his head only made him realise his failure. He held his eyes closed, fearing what he might see. Fear and pain. The worst combination ever.

Seconds drifted by like hours. They say that death makes you see images of a lifetime. He could see the same never ending panorama rushing in his mind… Was it his impending doom, or merely a self preserving mechanism to forget the excruciating pain? Somewhere he knew that the moon was high above, like a faithful friend, radiating him with its light as if to soothe out the pain. As weird as it might seem, he could feel the moonlight, he could feel its warmth… like on those long nights he spent crying on his rooftop, seeking shelter beneath the stars.

He would stay there for long hours, looking helplessly at the dark sky, hoping that somewhere, up there, amongst the stars, was his guardian angel, looking after him. He would talk to him, share his hopes and dreams, and that would always make him feel better. Some would say its just because he’s still a child deep inside.

He liked being the way he was. He saw many things others never dared to see, and yet he found refuge in his inner child. He knew, for some, he would always be like a child who would never grow up. Someone who lives in a world of his own. Part of it might be true. But he would rather say that others don’t see the true side of life.

He could see through others and yet preferred to feign ignorance. People always despise those who can see their true identity. ‘Cause each of them try to recreate an envelop for which they want to be known. Its like the game we used to play at the age of 5. Most of those games exist only to prove one single thing: “mine is better than yours”. And although the rules and platform might be different, people all around him still play games everyday. So in what way are they superior?

They believed he was just another ignorant, immature, kid. And he preferred things to remain that way… Cause the more you pretend to be blind, the more others open up to you. Thats one among the many reasons why he felt better off alone. In a paradoxical way, he felt less lonely, when he was there, all by himself, looking at the heavens.

Pain added to all the confusion and havoc in his mind, leaving him in a hallucinative state. He wished that he would awake from this nightmare that sucked him in and was pulling him deeper. Then gradually… he felt nothing… no pain… no confusion… he just drifted away to somewhere he yet had to discover.

Pleasure and pain… Is that what all life is ?